40 Years Together.

 We are celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary this week-end.  This occasion has given me reason to ponder.  How did we actually make it this long together? 

 When we got married in 1983, I was 21 and he was 24.  So young!!  We have 3 children, all grown now.  They were born when I was 22, 24 and 29.  In the gap were 2 losses. 

 We met in Victoria and married there but soon moved to the Kootenays.  I was raised in the Nelson area so it was already home to me.  We have lived at 49 Creek for most of our marriage.  Darrell built us a home on this property.  

I guess like many other families our lives have been full of raising children, figuring out where to live and work, paying bills and in between  all of that having some fun.  I feel like, in some ways, the first half of our marriage was so busy managing all of these things that we just got up each day, worked hard and did our best.  There were times when we didn't really see each other or understand one another's personal needs, and we had to take time to work through some difficulties that arose because of that.  We had to learn to communicate and be able to walk through the door of resolution.  That was especially hard for me.  In fact, I'm pretty sure Darrell has some PTSD from living with me as I  work through my early trauma and triggers and continue to do so.  There were days and months sometimes that were not easy by any means.  Loyalty is his middle name, however, and he has stuck by me, reassured me, loved me, comforted me and built me up continuously.  

Life is hard.  Life is hard together, life would be hard apart.  We picked our hard.  Together.  And so it has been, sometimes bumbling through and sometimes smooth sailing.  Always hard work.  Choosing to be kind, choosing to be respectful, learning to apologize, learning to say thank you and appreciate each other's efforts. Doing our best to lay down selfishness.  Choosing to see the best and forgive the faults.  Choosing to remember what we fell in love with at the beginning.  Laughing together.  And crying, yes, definitely tears.  Teamwork.  That word is important to us.

We have not done this alone.  Our other choice has been Jesus.  From the start, trusting His guidance and provision in our lives, asking Him for help always, doing our best to follow His way.  Praying everyday.  We do not always trust well.  We forget, and carry on in our own strength and have to be reminded over and over to hang on to God's hand.  To wake up and try again the next day.  Learning to take all our worries and cares to Him who loves us most. He has helped us, no doubt about it.  

So here we are, 40 years together despite everything.  Moving forward one day at a time, one step at a time.

I love you D.  Forever. Thank you for our life together.



No comments